Are you there Vodka? It's me, Chelsea

Author: Chelsea Handler

Publisher: Random House

ISBN: 1448135923

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 272

View: 3277


Chelsea Handler is a woman on a mission. She's smart, sassy and not afraid to speak her mind. From an early age Chelsea knew exactly what she wanted and even in the trickiest of situations, she's never one to pass up an opportunity. Like the time she convinced her third-grade class she was shooting movies with Goldie Hawn on location in the Galapagos just to get them to like her, or when she spent the night in a women's prison, contemplating an affair with the inmate who killed her own sister. Chelsea it seems, has done it all, and a whole lot more ... Any mishaps along the way just spur Chelsea on further. Whether she is being dry-humped by a sumo masseur, dumped by her Big Red experiment or kicked out of a London restaurant with her pants down, Chelsea is always armed with an unshakeable disregard for rules and is incapable of leading a quiet life. Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea is an entertaining memoir-in-stories that will have you rolling around with laughter.

The Quotable Guide to Punctuation

Author: Stephen Spector

Publisher: Oxford University Press

ISBN: 019067556X

Category: Language Arts & Disciplines

Page: 304

View: 5530


This book makes punctuation more fun and easier to learn than traditional approaches do. It teaches the natural way, by example: each lesson begins with quotes that exemplify good punctuation and sentence structure. Quotations are humorous and informative, drawn from the words of notable figures--Shakespeare, Mark Twain, Jerry Seinfeld, Taylor Swift, Beyoncé, Jennifer Lawrence, and many others. Short essays accompany each lesson, showing how each punctuation mark originated and how its use has altered over time. Correct punctuation is vital for clear, accurate, and natural writing. Anyone preparing a course assignment, applying for a job or for college admission, or doing any other formal writing needs to know the standard conventions of punctuation. Yet many people have never been taught how to punctuate. A necessary addition to any writer's bookshelf, this enjoyable book will teach readers to punctuate effectively and confidently--through over 500 memorable quotes and clear explanations of the rules.

Bar Games Jokes & Silly Stuff

Author: Scott Young

Publisher: AuthorHouse

ISBN: 1504981634

Category: Business & Economics

Page: 130

View: 3973


How To Be An Outstanding Bartender, Server, Cocktail Waitress Jammed Packed With Popular Interactive Fun That Bartenders & Servers Around The World Use to Create Better Experiences For Guests. Funny Stuff, Presentation Style, Bar Bets, Games, Magic & More.

Silenced in the Library: Banned Books in America

Author: Zeke Jarvis

Publisher: ABC-CLIO

ISBN: 1440843953

Category: Language Arts & Disciplines

Page: 289

View: 2174


Censorship has been an ongoing phenomenon even in "the land of the free." This examination of banned books across U.S. history examines the motivations and effects of censorship, shows us how our view of right and wrong has evolved over the years, and helps readers to understand the tremendous importance of books and films in our society. • Provides readers with a broad understanding of the different levels of censorship • Puts challenges to books into historical context of societal standards and current events • Takes both historical and literary perspectives, recognizing the lasting cultural influences of texts and their literary significance • Presents biographical background of major authors who have been challenged • Identifies the source and explains the result of challenges to the most important or influential banned books • Compares challenges to controversial books against similar challenges to controversial films, television shows, and video games

Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang

Author: Chelsea Handler

Publisher: Hachette UK

ISBN: 0446563536

Category: Humor

Page: 256

View: 9361


In these personal essays, the hilarious comedian and Chelsea Lately host reflects on family, love life, and the absurdities of adulthood with "cheeky candor" and signature wit (Philadelphia Inquirer). Life doesn't get more hilarious than when Chelsea Handler takes aim with her irreverent wit. Who else would send all-staff emails to smoke out the dumbest people on her show? Now, in this new collection of original essays, the #1 bestselling author of Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea delivers one laugh-out-loud moment after another as she sets her sights on the ridiculous side of childhood, adulthood, and daughterhood. Family moments are fair game, whether it's writing a report on Reaganomics to earn a Cabbage Patch doll, or teaching her father social graces by ordering him to stay indoors. It's open season on her love life, from playing a prank on her boyfriend (using a ravioli, a fake autopsy, and the Santa Monica pier) to adopting a dog so she can snuggle with someone who doesn't talk. And everyone better duck for cover when her beach vacation turns into matchmaking gone wild. Outrageously funny and deliciously wicked, Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang is good good good good! Chelsea Handler on . . . Being unpopular: "My parents couldn't have been more unreasonable when it came to fads or clothes that weren't purchased at a pharmacy." Living with her boyfriend: "He's similar to a large toddler, the only difference being he doesn't cry when he wakes up." Appreciating her brother: "He's a certified public accountant, and I have a real life." Arm-wrestling a maid of honor: "It wasn't her strength that intimidated me. It was the starry way her eyes focused on me, like Mike Tyson getting ready to feed."

May I Quote You on That?

Author: Stephen Spector

Publisher: Oxford University Press

ISBN: 0190215305

Category: Language Arts & Disciplines

Page: 240

View: 5450


We all use language in different ways, depending on the situations we find ourselves in. In formal contexts we are usually expected to use a formal level of Standard English-the English codified in grammars, usage guides, and dictionaries. In May I Quote You on That? Stephen Spector offers a new approach to learning Standard English grammar and usage. The product of Spector's forty years of teaching courses on the English language, this book makes the conventions of formal writing and speech easier and more enjoyable to learn than traditional approaches usually do. Each lesson begins with humorous, interesting, or instructive illustrative quotations from writers, celebrities, and historical figures. Mark Twain appears alongside Winston Churchill, Yogi Berra, Woody Allen, Jerry Seinfeld, Stephen Colbert, Oprah, Lady Gaga, and many others. These quotations allow readers to infer the rules and word meanings from context. And if they stick in readers' memory, they can serve as models for the rules they exemplify. The lessons then offer short essays, written in a conversational style, on the history of the rules or the words being discussed. But because English is constantly changing, the essays offer not only the traditional rules of Standard English, but also the current opinions of usage panelists, stylists, and language specialists. When rules are controversial, Spector offers advice about stylistic choices. A companion website features a workbook with practice drills. This book will appeal to anyone who wants to write well. It's aimed at those who are applying to college, taking the SAT, or writing a job application, an essay, or anything else that requires clear and effective communication.

How to Write a Book That Sells You

Author: Robin Colucci

Publisher: Archway Publishing

ISBN: 1480802050

Category: Business & Economics

Page: 250

View: 3482


More than eighty percent of Americans believe they should write and publish a book, but less than one percent actually does so. In How to Write a Book That Sells You, author Robin Colucci guides coaches, consultants, and entrepreneurs in writing and publishing a book that can become a power tool in their businesses. The steps presented in this guide seek to help you avoid or handle most of the blocks, distractions, and misunderstandings that prevent people from becoming authors. It teaches you how to excavate your most radical, leading-edge ideas and write a book that excites your audience and expands your impact. "If you are serious about creating a book that doesn't limp across the finish line, you need Robin Colucci's How to Write a Book That Sells You. It is the perfect launching pad to craft and create a book that generates superb credibility, connects you with your target audience, and seeds your financial empire. This is a title that delivers what it says. Judith Briles, Author YOU: Creating and Building Your Author and Book Platforms "Robin Colucci's How to Write a Book That Sells You shows readers the steps to write a book that builds credibility, influence, and drives readers to buy. A must read for anyone who wants to profit beyond book sales." Jill Lublin, 3x best selling author. Visit publicitycrashcourse.com/freegift "Whether you're just a beginner or a seasoned author, How to Write A Book that Sells You is required reading for success in today's electronically evolving market. Michael R. Drew, Promote A Book, 79 Consecutive Wall Street Journal, USA Today & New York Times best-sellers

Biography of Chelsea Handler

Author: Jeff Mudd

Publisher: Hyperink Inc

ISBN: 1614641994

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 24

View: 4992


ABOUT THE BOOK She jokes. She writes. She acts. She hosts. She produces. Is she a budding tycoon? A whirling typhoon? Well, yes and yes. Chelsea Handler is at once a sexy, sharp-tongued comic, a highly-rated television host, a best-selling author, and, of late, a sitcom actress playing her own sister. Despite her self-deprecating humor and surgical skewering of all-things-celebrity, she has become a bonafide superstar in her own right. On the tube, the shelves, the stage, and the tabloids, the blonde beauty is seemingly everywhere. Compared to Handler, Ryan Seacrest is a couch potato. MEET THE AUTHOR Jeff Mudd has been writing since the age of 10, taking second place in a statewide short-story contest with his tale of a down-on-his-luck cowboy named The Loan Ranger and his trusty horse, Tin Foil. A journalism graduate and lifelong sports enthusiast, he is married with three children. EXCERPT FROM THE BOOK Voila, The Chelsea Handler Show was born. The variety format allowed the versatile comic to juggle stand-up bits, offbeat sketches and taped shorts on a weekly basis. But the production was costly, and after two years the show evolved into the current day “Chelsea Lately.” The latter’s daily format allows Handler, along with three comedic panelists and a celebrity guest cameo, to chew on and spit out whatever entertainment topic or dansel du jour that may flash before her. Handler shares the stage and spreads the jokes, but make no mistake - she is definitely the queen of the roost. "I never really saw that coming," she said in Marie Claire. "I didn't become a comedian to work this hard. But Ted was saying, 'You need your own show. You have such a strong point of view.' But the only way I was going to be on E! was if I could make fun of E! and everyone on those shows. I thought, That would be a great job." Buy a copy to keep reading!

Encyclopedia of Television Shows

Author: Vincent Terrace

Publisher: McFarland

ISBN: 1476630941

Category: Performing Arts

Page: 228

View: 7850


This is a supplement to the author's Encyclopedia of Television Shows, 1925-2010. It covers 1,612 series broadcast between January 1, 2011, and December 31, 2016. Major networks--ABC, CBS, the CW, Fox and NBC--are covered along with many cable channels, such as AMC, Disney, Nickelodeon, Bravo, Lifetime, Discovery, TNT, Comedy Central and History Channel. Alphabetical entries provide storylines, casts, networks and running dates. A performer index is included.

It’s Never Too Late

Author: Kathie Lee Gifford

Publisher: Thomas Nelson

ISBN: 0785236678

Category: Self-Help

Page: 224

View: 1190


A New York Times bestseller! It’s never too late to unearth your hidden passions, rewrite your story, and live with a renewed purpose. Former Today show host Kathie Lee Gifford shares stories from her remarkable life in a beautiful reminder that God is still dreaming big for our years ahead. When Kathie Lee Gifford stepped down as cohost of the fourth hour of the Today show with Hoda Kotb, you might have thought her best days were behind her...but it turns out that she was just getting started. As Kathie Lee says, “I’m not retiring; I’m refiring!” Taking us from her Chesapeake Bay childhood when she first heard God’s calling, to her skyrocketing fame with Regis, to her decision to leave television for Nashville, Kathie Lee inspires us to pursue what really matters. Because it’s never too late to forgive, to dance the cha-cha, or to make a difference in the world. God placed His dreams in your heart for a reason. And like Kathie Lee, you might just discover that the best is yet to come. Whether you’re an empty nester, newly single, navigating a career change, or just eager for any change, Kathie Lee helps you hear God’s loving calling. It’s Never Too Late includes: Touchstone moments in Kathie Lee’s life that have led her to where she is now Inspiration and motivation to live out what’s next and rewrite your story Encouragement to pursue what really matters in life Is it time for you to rewrite your story, unearth your hidden passions, and live with a renewed purpose? It’s never too late.