I Was Told There'd Be Cake

Author: Sloane Crosley

Publisher: National Geographic Books

ISBN: 159448306X

Category: Humor

Page: 0

View: 9760


Hailed by David Sedaris as "perfectly, relentlessly funny" and by Colson Whitehead as "sardonic without being cruel, tender without being sentimental," from the author of the new collection Look Alive Out There. Wry, hilarious, and profoundly genuine, this debut collection of literary essays is a celebration of fallibility and haplessness in all their glory. From despoiling an exhibit at the Natural History Museum to provoking the ire of her first boss to siccing the cops on her mysterious neighbor, Crosley can do no right despite the best of intentions -- or perhaps because of them. Together, these essays create a startlingly funny and revealing portrait of a complex and utterly recognizable character who aims for the stars but hits the ceiling, and the inimitable city that has helped shape who she is. I Was Told There'd Be Cake introduces a strikingly original voice, chronicling the struggles and unexpected beauty of modern urban life.

I was Told There'd be Cake

Author: Sloane Crosley

Publisher: Portobello Books

ISBN: 9781846271854

Category: American essays

Page: 230

View: 449


Wry, hilarious, and profoundly genuine, this debut collection of literary essays is a celebration of fallibility and haplessness in all their glory. Crosby's strikingly original voice chronicles the struggles and unexpected beauty of modern urban life.

I Was Told There'd Be Cake

Author: Sloane Crosley

Publisher: Portobello Books

ISBN: 1846274656

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 240

View: 4726


From getting locked out of her flat twice on the same day and being fired for baking a giant cookie in the shape of her boss's head, to playing bridesmaid for a friend she'd long forgotten, Sloane Crosley can do no right, despite the best of intentions. With sharp, original and irresistible storytelling that confounds expectations at every turn, Crosley recounts her victories and catastrophes, finding uproarious comedy and genuine insights in the most unpredictable places.

Summary of Sloane Crosley's I Was Told There'd Be Cake

Author: Everest Media,

Publisher: Everest Media LLC

ISBN: N.A

Category: Humor

Page: 31

View: 7323


Please note: This is a companion version & not the original book. Sample Book Insights: #1 I have given serious and generous thought to the state of my apartment should I get killed during the day. I have pictured my loved ones coming to my apartment to collect my things, and I have hoped that it would only be lived-in messy. But that is never going to happen. #2 I have dated a lot of men who have given me a contribution to my pony collection. This is not such a bad thing. These are men who are creative and kind. They hold open doors and pour wine. If I were to join a cult, I would think they would come rescue me. #3 I have a collection of ponies that I bought after breaking up with my boyfriends. They are too embarrassing to leave out in the open, facing west like a collection of china elephants. I want to send them around the world like the Travelocity gnome, have them come back to me years from now when I have an attic in which to shut them away. #4 I can’t just throw the ponies out with the recyling. The ponies have roots in me, not the other person. I put them in a black plastic bag and take them with me on the subway. I leave them between my legs, and then I forget to take them with me when I get up.

Nexus (Sontem Trilogy #1)

Author: Nicolas Wilson

Publisher: Nicolas Wilson

ISBN: 1301673560

Category: Fiction

Page: 278

View: 4906


Captain Anderson Grant of the corporate starship Nexus boldly explores alien worlds (and occasionally the alien women, too). Grant and his crew struggle with the company’s version of manifest destiny, as well as its attempt to coerce them into military force. They begin to question whether the largest threat to their mission and their safety will come from outside the Nexus or from the company that respects them more for their genetic possibilities than their individuality. (Keywords: Science Fiction Series, Space Opera, Space Aliens, Space Merchants, Military Scifi, Science Fiction Trilogies, Space Fiction, Space Marine, Science Fiction Romance.)

The Fullness of Love

Author: Eric Todd

Publisher: Wipf and Stock Publishers

ISBN: 1666740985

Category: Religion

Page: 125

View: 9025


Eric Todd experienced a life-changing phenomenon of life after death at the moment of his mother’s passing. He intuited a Oneness wrapped in indescribable Love and Peace, or an “InfiUnity” with God. Todd is also a “recovering” Evangelical calling to repeal and replace “Churchianity.” Baptized in a history of racism, partisan politics, and religious nationalism, he makes the case that it is a dangerous cult, co-opting the name of Christ. He believes that the teachings of Jesus, unfiltered by centuries of constrictive voices, are revolutionary to hearers today. As such, Todd declares a mandate, saying, “It’s time to know deeper, not more,” and has found freedom in the “unknowing” mysteries of God. In The Fullness of Love, Todd draws from the ancient faith’s wealth of orthodoxy, distilling difficult and nuanced biblical passages to transform the message and practice for the twenty-first century.

Look Alive Out There

Author: Sloane Crosley

Publisher: MCD

ISBN: 0374711801

Category: Literary Collections

Page: 256

View: 9104


Sloane Crosley returns to the form that made her a household name in really quite a lot of households: Essays! From the New York Times–bestselling author Sloane Crosley comes Look Alive Out There—a brand-new collection of essays filled with her trademark hilarity, wit, and charm. The characteristic heart and punch-packing observations are back, but with a newfound coat of maturity. A thin coat. More of a blazer, really. Fans of I Was Told There’d Be Cake and How Did You Get This Number know Sloane Crosley’s life as a series of relatable but madcap misadventures. In Look Alive Out There, whether it’s playing herself on Gossip Girl,scaling active volcanoes, crashing shivas, befriending swingers, or staring down the barrel of the fertility gun, Crosley continues to rise to the occasion with unmatchable nerve and electric one-liners. And as her subjects become more serious, her essays deliver not just laughs but lasting emotional heft and insight. Crosley has taken up the gauntlets thrown by her predecessors—Dorothy Parker, Nora Ephron, David Sedaris—and crafted something rare, affecting, and true. Look Alive Out There arrives on the tenth anniversary of I Was Told There’d be Cake, and Crosley’s essays have managed to grow simultaneously more sophisticated and even funnier. And yet she’s still very much herself, and it’s great to have her back—and not a moment too soon (or late, for that matter).

Hamish and the Monster Patrol

Author: Danny Wallace

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

ISBN: 1471167852

Category: Juvenile Fiction

Page: 304

View: 7335


'HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!' Frank Cottrell Boyce 'Hilarious' Tim Minchin 'Danny Wallace and Jamie Littler's books contain all the wit and warmth of Dahl and Blake at their best. Irresistible.' Phil Earle 'Like David Walliams, Danny Wallace is a comedian turned children's author. Of the two, Wallace's writing is funnier' The Sunday Times, Children's Book of the Week Get ready for another hilarious adventure from bestselling author Danny Wallace brought to life with illustrations from Jamie Littler, perfect for fans of David Walliams, Roald Dahl, David Baddiel and David Solomons! Things are afoot in Starkley... again! Out in the ocean something's on the move ... something BIG ... something that might change everything ... While most of Starkley's inhabitants have fled or gone into lockdown, Hamish and his pals in the PDF are coming up with a plan, because if they don't save the world then who will?! But this time they’re not alone. Luckily, the top-secret Monster Patrol is on hand to help … even if that ‘help’ is in the form of a strange new kid, a bizarre-looking fish monster and a bonkers old lady…

Save the Assistants

Author: Lilit Marcus

Publisher: Hachette UK

ISBN: 1401395139

Category: Business & Economics

Page: 272

View: 2445


"If you're tired, you're poor, and you're a huddled mass of an assistant yearning to breathe free, look no further than Save the Assistants." --Yahoo! "Lilit at Save the Assistants . . . feels your pain." --Marie Claire What happens when nine-to-five turns into nine-to-eleven? How do you outmaneuver the office Underminer? Is it appropriate to have a cocktail at a company lunch? How do you get reservations for a restaurant with an unlisted phone number? What do you do when your boss throws a stapler at your head? As Page Six Magazine recently noted, bosses are "going from mean to monstrous -- and making The Devil Wears Prada look like a love story." What's an office drone to do? Call on Save the Assistants, the addictive and insightful guide to workplace sanity by Lilit Marcus, renowned assistant expert. On your first day at work, you learned how to answer the phone and turn on the computer. But four years of college hardly prepared you for the coffee-fetching, back-stabbing, and you-should-have-done-it-yesterdays of office life. Save the Assistants is here to help you not only survive your job, but ultimately get the career you want.

Brooks Headley's Fancy Desserts: The Recipes of Del Posto's James Beard Award-Winning Pastry Chef

Author: Brooks Headley

Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company

ISBN: 0393242013

Category: Cooking

Page: 352

View: 353


“The most entertaining cookbook in memory. . . . A game changer.”—Anthony Bourdain While other chefs paid dues on restaurant lines and at cooking schools, Brooks Headley was in the back of a tour van as a drummer in much-loved punk bands that never made a dime. Now executive pastry chef at New York's Del Posto restaurant, Headley creates unorthodox recipes that echo his unconventional background: fruit is king, vegetables are championed, acidity is key, and simplicity is the goal. With 97 recipes and more than 100 photographs, Brooks Headley's Fancy Desserts has six chapters: "Fruit," "Vegetables," "Grains and Flours," "Chocolate," "Seeds and Nuts," and "Dairy." Recipes range from verjus melon candy to tofu chocolate creme brulée, fruit sorbet to eggplant and chocolate, showcasing Headley's unique perspective on ingredients and methodology. Guest contributors include philosopher-musician Ian Svenonius, essayist Sloane Crosley, and award-winning chefs Gabrielle Hamilton and David Kinch. Brooks Headley's Fancy Desserts is an essential, inventive addition to the shelf of both home cooks and professional chefs.